![]() ![]() You know a curveball is coming? You look like Ted Williams. You guess a curveball is coming, and you get a fastball? You look like a drunk trying to kill a moth. Trying to guess which pitch is coming is the whole art of hitting! Otherwise, it’d be like a blackjack player knowing what card was going to be flipped over next. Now there’s talk that pitchers from other teams will impact Asterisks batters with fastballs to the ribs and-oh, the irony-probably get suspended for it. Let me ask you: If Drew Brees knew when the blitz was coming, do you think that might impact the game? If Steph Curry knew when he was going to get double-teamed, do you think that might impact the game? “Our opinion is, this didn’t impact the game,” he sniffed. But at least she didn’t destroy the integrity of the game.Ĭrane pooh-poohed the burning wreckage smoldering at his feet. The commissioner didn’t even suspend the Asterisks’ owner, Jim Crane.įor heaven’s sake, the racist Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Schott got suspended in the 1990s for owning a Nazi armband. Five million? They can make more than that selling Frito pies. He fined the Asterisks a pathetic $5 million and a few draft picks. ![]() It’s the skunkiest scandal in baseball history, and yet Manfred didn’t punish a single player. ![]() They used all these tricks to rob the Los Angeles Dodgers of any fair chance in the 2017 World Series, and who knows how many teams on their way to the 2018 American League Championship Series. According to opponents, the Asterisks taped tiny buzzers to hitters’ chests, set off little blinking lights, and even whistled. Using a center-field camera, a video monitor near the dugout, and a system of trash-can bangs from a teammate in the dugout, the Houston Asterisks knew what pitch was coming for two years. The players who received immunity admitted it. This was the whole team, and coaches, for two full seasons.įans know that they cheated. That scandal was eight players in one series. I want to find Commissioner Rob Manfred and pelt him with Stay Puft marshmallows for his pillowy-soft punishment of the most crooked team in baseball history. I want to attend every Houston Astros game this season with a trash-can lid and bang it every time one of their sign-stealing cheatballs comes to bat. ![]()
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